How many of you were given the keys to a beautiful new car without a license, training, education or even practice and told: “Go for it!,” “Peddle to the metal!” or “Hit the highway?”
My guess is that this was not the way anyone was taught to drive. But, why is it that when it comes to learning to parent, we are handed this beautiful new life and without a license, training, education, or even practice we are expected to know how to be successful?
When it is time to have your baby, did you have some form of birthing plan? Maybe you interviewed doctors, organized a hospital bag, practiced your driving route, who to call when the time comes, whether you wanted to go natural or with medication, in a hospital, in a tub with a midwife etc. but whatever you decided, you had a plan.
If a plan is so important in the process of having a baby, why does it not register as important when raising that baby into a toddler, toddler into a child, child into a teen and teen into an adult?
What important part of your life do you go into without a plan? Could you imagine a sports team going into a game without a plan or starting a business without plan? And, when things start to go awry in any part of your life, when is it not a good idea to stop, reassess what you are doing, make adjustments to your plan and implement those adjustments consistently?
Yet, if I asked any parent on the street, “what is your parenting plan,” I know I would be met with blank stares. Why is it that parents routinely take on their biggest and arguably most important responsibility without any sort of plan?
So, I ask you: “What is your parenting plan?” Do you have one? Do you know how to create one? Do you even know what one would look like? And, without it, why do you think you will somehow find a way to be successful? This is especially true if you have a child who has already developed challenging or even aggressive behavior.
A Parenting Plan allows you to have an answer as to “what to do” in all situations. It tells you how to respond to your children no matter what is happening in the moment. It sets up your target goals and assigns ways to be sure to motivate and reinforce the successful completion of those goals. It takes into consideration the routines and unexpected activities that will occur and it teaches you how to make positive gains with your child whether or not they are cooperating with you in the moment.
The Parenting Plans we develop at “Robert Schramm Consulting” are based on The 7 Steps to Successful Parenting. Seven basic principles that when met consistently are guaranteed to bring you more cooperation and a better relationship. No more yelling, arguing or constant reminders for your kids to get things done! Request our Free Guide, 7 Steps to Successful Parenting.
What are those 7 Principles?
- Be in control of all reinforcement.
- Become a generalized reinforcer for your children.
- Choose your instructions wisely and state them clearly.
- Reinforce positive responses meaningfully.
- Grow and adjust your plan from your successes.
- Prioritize your goals and child’s interests.
- Do not allow reinforcement to follow refusals, willful disobedience or unacceptable behavior.
Using these principles to guide us, we have to create an “Action Plan,” organize your “Daily Family Schedule”, prioritize your daily goals, then develop a way to reinforce these goals consistently.
Looking for help in developing your own Parenting Plan? Robert Schramm Consulting has you covered.
Whether you want “do-it-yourself” online courses
or one-to-one coaching,
we have the systems in place to help you create an immediately successful plan for your entire family. Once your plan is up and running, Robert Schramm Consulting can also help you to assess and adjust your parenting plan as you go. If your goal is to be the best parent you can be for your children, the best advice I can give you is, at very least, have a plan.
